No Singing in the Rain

Four days and four nights of wind, rain, sleet and snow, any reminiscent longing for a rainy day has surely been fulfilled for years to come. The weather man on the tube attributes these nearly 70 mph wind gusts and local flooding here in Boston to a new term for us called a “Nor’easter”. Us Florida natives have another name for it- a “Hurricane”.

Somehow I was misled throughout my life in Florida and California, that spring showers carried only rain. Where there is just enough water to coat the pavement so that tiny split-second footprints appeared as people walked by. Who knew spring showers could carry enough force to bring the puddles to your face?!

It’s been five months since we arrived in Boston, and my daughter has now developed an unhealthy loathing for just the mere sight of her coat. As have I. So we cross off yet another day of this relentless “Nor-icane”. The water continues to fall from the sky and with it the mercury in our thermometer outside. Loyally at its side is the howling wind, crying for a dryer sight of spring.

The Ex Box

Ever since I sifted through a miscellaneous drawer in my night table, there's been this question I can not seem to shake. Stuck between two pages of a small photo album, I came across an old, photo-booth shot of me and one of my ex- boyfriends. Besides my immediate thought of "geez, I look so much younger there", I was instantly taken right back to the time when the photo was taken- a warm, sunny day at the beach, wanting nothing more than to be in this person's company. With eyes closed, I remembered how enchanting the day was having sand between my toes while walking next to him. THIS was clearly going to be a problem.

What am I supposed to do about past relationships now that I'm married? I mean not all ex-boyfriends suck, right? In fact, what if you shared incredible memories with someone else; memories that linger with you, even as time moves on? When Jamie planted an unexpected kiss on me after school in 6th grade, I thought I was going to hurl all over him! Some things you just can't forget. But what do you do with them?

Somehow I'm sure I’ve already broken some unwritten law that forbids any notion of a man from the past. You know, now that I've taken my "marriage vows" of silence and all. If only I could tuck the feelings away like I did the photo right back into the place I found it. Or even a way to delete these files from my memory and empty the recycle bin.
But is that really fair? I dated some of these men for years; some for even longer than my current marriage. Add them all up, and that's a good portion of my life. Lost in the moments of these relationships, I gave it my all (usually). Occasionally, I was fortunate and the man reciprocated. In retrospect, I have no regrets, but now I'm left with sweet taboo memories that hang about when walking on the beach on a warm, sunny day.

Am I committing "reminiscent adultery"?

Closet Junkie

Alright, so I’ve come to terms with the fact that my days of bottles and breastfeeding on demand are long gone. Ella is now 19- months and has become quite the toddler; in a sense, maybe even a little “mini-me”. She wants to wear mommy’s shoes. Say what mommy says. She even has a little vacuum to push along while I’m vacuuming. Except for me, the thrill of the motor and suction has long faded. (If only Fisher Price made ones that really worked, this place would be spotless!) I digress; she unfortunately also wants to eat whatever mommy eats too. LORD HELP ME!

As flattering as it may seem to have a little girl look up to you and want to mimic your every move, it can surely tug on ones nerves at times. Today for instance, I chatted on the phone with a friend at the end of a long and stressful day. While swapping war stories about the office, I fall into that “oh, I need some chocolate” mood, to get me through re-living the scenario again. So unconsciously while reaching into the cookie jar, I continue walking and telling my story as cookie crumbs trickle down the number pad. I close the door behind me and sit down for a breather. Amidst the juicy gossip, I'm interrupted:

Friend: “Your voice is echoing, where are you? And what are you eating?”

Me: “huh? Oh, I’m in the laundry closet hiding from Ella so I can eat my cookie!”

I could barely keep the crumbs from flying out of my mouth, we were laughing so hard! What great lengths we take for such simple pleasures.

Is it too late to tack one more to that list of New Year’s Resolutions???