I Used Behind My Husband's Back....

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike mornings? Besides peeling myself from my warm and welcoming bed, the entire process of getting my family and myself ready for the day is quite unpleasant. I am NOT a morning person at all. I’ve spent the greater part of my adult life getting home from work and eating dinner at 8 am, and now I find myself still adjusting to the more human sleep/wake cycle. I can barely utter a word before a cup of coffee, and on weekends, I can shuffle around like an 80-year old man in Pj’s for a good few hours. Sadly, my weekdays don’t allow that. My recent alarm clock has been a 2-year old tugging at my arm saying “mommy! Wake…UP!” So I have two choices: 1) Get out of bed and shower so I can drive my husband to work on time and get my daughter out of the house 2) or, Let my husband watch her for 10 more minutes so I can continue to be in a half-asleep/awake state. Today, I chose option 2. Which meant shower time was going to be tight.

I did my usual bathroom routine- brushed my pearly whites, washed my tired face, and then stepped into the steamy shower. Everything was typical, until I realized I needed to shave. Yup, definitely needed to shave. I turned around and looked for my razor, and it wasn’t there. I pushed open the wet shower curtain to check the counter; it was nowhere to be found! It must have made it into the trash somehow. This was an emergency. I needed something. Now! In a state of desperation, I looked up and found this…
No, that is not a woman’s razor. On the contrary, it’s one of those Mach XXXII, or what ever they’re called. The ones with a few dozen blades, because beards and mustaches have somehow evolved into dense forests that require instruments like these to whack them down. I’ve felt my husband’s beard before. Okay, maybe I can see the justification- But for my legs? My underarms? I was a bit skeptical. But I did not have time to debate this issue. Oh well, I had no choice. I lathered up, and began pulling the razor up my leg. And to my surprise, it felt kind of nice. Really nice. Hey! My razor doesn’t feel this nice; like a gentle mower, not the weed-whacker I expected. Maybe there really is something to the hoard of blades…((Gasp!))…The bathroom door peeked open. “We have to leave soon!” I stood frozen; with his razor stealthily tucked behind my shampoo bottle. “Okay!”

Whew, who would have thought using paraphernalia behind his back would be so hairy? My smooth and silky legs are thankful though ;)